you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
