I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
