Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
