some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
