He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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