This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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