but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
