My friends, they love my intelligence
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
