sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
BRING THE BAGELS
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
