i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
