another moral hangover. fuck.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
