whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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