dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
