Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
