Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
