he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
