There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
it's like heaven, but drunker
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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