Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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