is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i think im in europe. pls send help
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
