the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
