How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize