Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You're like the curious george of whores
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
