we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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