: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
