When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
