I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
