thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
