I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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