Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
