He disabled his match.com account in front of me
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
