Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
