Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
