In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just forgot I was standing up.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
