Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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