It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
