im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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