i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
