Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize