I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You've changed since you got that strap on
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
