Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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