Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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