White coat. Heels.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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