While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize