We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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