but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
