are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
