no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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