And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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