well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
