i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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