I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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