Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
