can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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