I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
