She said her name was "party"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
