Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Enjoy the penises
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
