She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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