I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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