Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
